Perspective

Before getting engaged and wedding planning, I figured that it would be one of the happiest and most fun times in my life.  I mean, weddings are all over tv, magazines, and the internet, and they all show pictures of these picture perfect weddings with smiling brides surrounded by hundreds of happy people.

They don't really show what goes on behind the photoshoot.

There is an immense amount of pressure that I, as the bride, am perceiving about our wedding.  I feel like everything needs to be "perfect" and planned out to the T.  I think part of it is that we're having such a long engagement that there is almost too much time to worry about things {and I have the type of personality that does sweat the small stuff}, but also that the media puts this ridiculous amount of pressure on what it means to have the "perfect wedding".  The whole, "you're only doing this once so you have to do it right!" mentality is KILLING me.  I knew I reached a breaking point where I almost cried because I really wanted these earrings but I wasn't able to afford them.  Yes, you read that right... earrings.  What am I, 5 years old?  Who cries about earrings?

I think the earrings fiasco was really just a manifestation of a lot of stress and pressure I am putting on myself about this wedding.  I've felt like since I'm the one doing the majority of the planning, that if things go wrong its going to make me look bad.  Everyone always says that things ARE going to go wrong and that you just have to roll with it, but I have an immensely difficult time accepting that for my own wedding.  It's just who I am.  That is, until I received a lovely package in the mail:

Introducing: Mrs Anderon.

I ordered a pretty hanger to put my wedding dress on, and they misspelled my future last name.  For about 60 seconds I was super pissed and wrote a not very nice letter to the Etsy shop owner where I purchased the hanger, but then as I uploaded the picture and looked at it more, I couldn't stop laughing.  Part of it was funny because of all the last names to misspell, I never would have thought Anderson was one of them, but the other part thought it was funny that such a silly thing went wrong.  I laughed for a good several minutes while D looked at me like I was a crazy woman, but it felt SO GOOD to laugh about something going wrong than crying about it and feeling sorry for myself.  This probably sounds so stupid, but them messing up my hanger really was one of the best things that could happen to me right now.  It was a smack in my face that I should stop letting myself get upset over stupid little things.  50 years from now when D and I are in our rocking chairs holding hands and remembering our wedding day, am I going to remember those earrings I really wanted?  No, of course not.  I'm going to remember the look on his face the first time he sees me; I'll remember our first dance, and hopefully I'll remember how incredibly happy I was that day.  I would hate to look back on our wedding day and think, wow that day was awful and full of stress.  I just have to keep everything in perspective in spite of what the wedding industry says I need for my perfect day.  I have my perfect man, and that's what matters.

And they are shipping me a new dress hanger, too. :)

<3 STBW